it shall set you free etc etc

[deathkid]

» POST: a top level for your character(s) » RESPOND: to other characters ICly. your characters are now trapped in an elevator together. » UH OH: neither character can lie. » ADDITIONAL, OPTIONAL COMPLICATIONS: at player discretion characters may also... a. be unable to remain silent when asked questions b. be unable to speak around the truth when answering c. be compelled to reveal truths/secrets unprompted THE POWER OF THE ELEVATOR COMPELS YOU.

Comments

[spellslots]

Yeah, well, I've gotta live with it too, and I'm gonna be doing that for a lot fucking longer than you are.

[So there's... that]

[scholiast]

I can't help being human. If I could stick around and repent for half a millennia, I would.

[spellslots]

Gods, see, this is what I fucking mean. We talk about this shit and it turns into how guilty you feel or how sad you are about it as if it wasn't your choice in the first fucking place. As if you didn't commit to it for over a decade.

[He'd probably say this even without the forced honesty, though it sure helps.]

[scholiast]

What the hell else am I supposed to feel, Taako?

I regret doing it the way I did. Of course I feel sad and guilty.

(it's her shit brand.)

[spellslots]

I don't give a shit how you feel. I give a shit that you bring it up every fucking time like we're supposed to be throwing a pity party for poor Lucretia.

[And this is exactly why he needed a chill out potion to have this conversation with her, because even if he knows it upsets her more when he's not angry, he can't seem to help himself.]

[scholiast]

I'm not bringing it up for pity points, I'm trying to have a fucking conversation with you!

(It's too easy for his frustration to stoke her own.) You just told me last time that you thought you had been letting me off too easily, that I seemed like I was acting like nothing happened. Do you want me to be sad, or not? What would make it easier for you? If I just stand there in silence and nod whenever we talk about this?

[spellslots]

I don't know, Lucretia! Fuck.

[That's the truth, at least, dragged out of him.]

You know what I want? Some goddamn space so I don't gotta think about how you ruined my life every fucking time I see you. But we're stuck on this shitty moon and Lup and Magnus still wanna be BFFs so I've kinda just gotta suck it up, don't I?

[Their lives are too tangled up in each other and this place is too small.]

[scholiast]

Yeah, I guess you do.

(She sighs, sharp and uncomfortable, and runs a hand over the top of her hair and down to the nape of her neck.)

I can play keep away until the cows come home Taako, if you think it would be at all helpful.

[spellslots]

Can you, though? Cause like, in case you missed it, our social circle overlaps pretty hard.

[They do a lot of things as a group, if Taako just cut Lucretia out he's sure Magnus and Lup would have something to say about it.]

Taako's outnumbered on this one.

[Two against one. He misses Barry and Davenport, they might understand better.]

[scholiast]

They didn't– they haven't chosen me over you. Nobody is against you, Taako.

(She can see why he thinks that, though. Both Magnus and Lup forgave her and she had taken that comfort from them selfishly, without hesitation.

This... hurts a lot. She hates to think of there being a divide between the seven of them. Hates to think she put it there.)

I wish you didn't feel that way.

[spellslots]

But they might be, if I made it a thing.

[And that's what he's scared of, that if he drew a line between him and Lucretia, the others would fall on the wrong side. He knows, he knows that Lup would always choose him, it's just that fear doesn't quite work on logic.

Not when she already left him alone once.]

[scholiast]

They wouldn't. You didn't do anything wrong, Taako.

(All he did was suffer at her hands, how on earth could they turn their backs on him?)

They love you.

[spellslots]

Not if I'm the bitter asshole who can't just let this all go like they did.

[He'd be the one making it difficult, causing problems cause he can't move on, and Lucretia's the one guilty and sad and remorseful.]

[scholiast]

It's... not like you're being unreasonable. You need to give them more credit than that.

(Admittedly, she has no idea what would happen if he were to try and draw a definitive line in the sand, but... she'd like to think they'd wouldn't just abandon Taako.)

[spellslots]

Whatever.

[She's right and he knows it, mostly, which is why he doesn't want to say more on the topic because the honesty is going to get the better of him. As it is, he still can't quite hold back on adding:]

I'm not gonna risk it.

[Even if they don't choose Lucretia, it would still make things shitty and awkward and uncomfortable.]

[scholiast]

Okay.

We... we only have to stick this out until one of us goes home.

(How bleak. She keeps going for some reason, the words spilling out against her better judgement.) And like you said, I won't be around forever. I'm– what, pushing one-thirty now? I can't have much longer left.

[spellslots]

I'm dating the grim reaper, you think dying's gonna put an end to any of this?

[There are rules, sure, but Taako's pretty sure death is always going to mean something different for the Starblaster crew.]

[scholiast]

I don't want to live forever, so yeah, I think that it probably will. It's death.

(Very final, and all that.)

You'd... ask to let me cheat it?

[spellslots]

Fuck no, pretty sure Lup and Barry are gonna get in enough trouble, but like... I dunno, we'll probably visit or whatever? The astral plane's just a place.

[Kind of a weird and slightly spooky place, but still a place.]

[scholiast]

What if I don't–

(She has to stop talking and it makes her laugh a bit.) What, I can't even lie as a joke? It would be nice, to be visited.

(Lucretia hadn't really thought of it like that before, that they'd all be able to just... up and visit her, even in death. The astral plane was much more Barry's interest than hers.)

Who do you think's gonna be the first to beef it, Magnus or I? (Since Barry went and took himself out of the running; what a party pooper.)

[spellslots]

Magnus.

[Easily answered, no fighting against the honesty on that one.]

You've got a couple decades on him but uh, you've met the dude. If he doesn't go out in some blaze of glory he's gonna die of a heart attack cause he doesn't know what a vegetable is and I fucking hate talking about this.

[Hey you know what? He didn't mean to say that last bit.]

[scholiast]

(Yeah, she'd started this off as a morbid thought spoken aloud but it's gone a little too far along to be comfortable any more. When Lucretia thinks of Magnus potentially dying some day, her heart aches.)

Same. Sorry for bringing it up.

[spellslots]

You're not the one that's gonna outlive all you fucks.

[There's Barry and Lup, sure, but they're already dead, no take backs, not when the Raven Queen and Kravitz know what's up. Taako's sure they're not going to be dragged to ghost prison, but he also knows the solution isn't going to be just letting them off the hook without question.

Whatever the compromise is, things will change. Again.]

[scholiast]

(It feels weird to have this conversation so frankly.)

... Things can't stay like this forever, Taako. We've had more than our fair share of time already; everything will have to change eventually.

(Is he scared of being left alone? She glances at him, then offers her hand to him tentatively.)

[spellslots]

[Yeah nah, he's not taking that hand.]

Unfortunately for me, that was enough time to actually make me give a shit.

[Now he's going to be sad when they die, and that's the worst. This is why he does his best not to care about people in the first place.]