002; elevator of forced honesty

[memefox]

elevator of forced honesty

» POST: a top level for your character(s) » RESPOND: to other characters ICly. your characters are now trapped in an elevator together. » UH OH: neither character can lie. » ADDITIONAL, OPTIONAL COMPLICATIONS: at player discretion characters may also... a. be unable to remain silent when asked questions b. be unable to speak around the truth when answering c. be compelled to reveal truths/secrets unprompted THE POWER OF THE ELEVATOR COMPELS YOU.

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[sweetlies]

[He's still a bit tense, letting his expression go blank.]

No different than when he was around then. It isn't as if he isn't central in some of them anyway.

[somakemelaugh]

[He shrugs and lifts a hand to his chin.] Might be that's an improvement, but it's still waking us both up at all hours.

[sweetlies]

I'll try to be quieter.

[Try]

I'm still surprised you're so concerned. Why is that? Nobody else has cared beyond the fact that 'Ciel came back' and that was all.

[somakemelaugh]

I see. [He didn't expect it would actually happen. Nightmares were things that couldn't be controlled, and if they frightened the boy so badly he awoke terrified and screaming to all hell, what could be done?]

[Then a curious thing happened. For the boy's question, he had a very simple answer, one he had already given. But there was more to it than he had been willing to let on, and suddenly he felt... unexpectedly comfortable with telling him. It disturbed him in some way, but the grin stayed as it was.] I know what they're about, those nightmares. I know why you cry in the night and you're your father's son and still too young to have to know something like this. It could have happened to anyone, you know. Besides, it wakes me up at night, but at least it's easier being in the same room with you already and you in your own bed rather than trying to make you get in mine and having myself to go back to sleep on the couch. It's not quite as comfortable as it looks.

[sweetlies]

I'm not that young. [He mutters on instinct.

He doesn't argue about Undertaker knowing though, he's woken up more than a few times yelling for his brother, or curled up in a ball under covers.]

I would have been fine lying on the floor. It isn't as if I've never done it before. At least here there's heat and I don't have to worry about being woken by another child being dragged away.

[somakemelaugh]

You're young. Were it not for your father's title what's been passed onto you and that butler of yours, you'd have been put into foster care upon your return or left destitute on the streets. [He'd been talking half in jest before, but this time it's different. This time, he's serious.] If you'd returned at all.

But you did. Four years, it's been. Four long years of you carrying on in your father's stead, with a noble's upbringing and a child's mind, and still the nightmares come. You've seen horrors that no child should, you've committed severe crimes in the name of the Queen and just like before, I clean up the mess left behind. Not that I care about that part. If anything, you've helped me to meet my own ends. Really, this shouldn't mean anything to me either. It's not my business what you do to yourself, were it not for your father. What amazes me is of the two of us, I'm the only one who seems to give a lick that you're still suffering this.

[sweetlies]

Aunt Francis or Madam Red would have taken me in. [He goes silent for a moment. If he'd returned at all... One of them should have but...]

What else can I do? The queen practically owns the Phantomhives, we exist because of the crown. For the crown. [He tries not to let his shoulders shake.

And then, in a voice as small as he feels:] It amazes me too. I'm not worth anyone caring about. I never was. ["You never should have been born in the first place."] He should have come back.

[somakemelaugh]

Would they? Would they even have recognized you? [Now he's just being mean and he knows it. It's a little much even for him, so he backs off a little, shaking his head.]

If that's how you really feel, you should never have come back. You should have protected your brother, the true heir, and yet here you are. I don't need eyes to see which twin you are. Even when you first appeared back in my parlor not long after we buried those empty coffins, I knew. No, you didn't come back for the Queen. That's just an excuse. You came back for your family. You, the worthless one. You returned for them.

[sweetlies]

I... don't know.

[Ouch.

Ciel stares at the floor of the elevator. He doesn't cry, he hasn't cried since he came home, and when he's been in Germany, too afraid and hurt to leave his bed in Wolfsschlucht. And like then, his heart aches annoying at the reminder.]

I know that! I would have traded places if I could have. Ciel was stronger, he was reliable. But he... he protected me instead. [Maybe he saw something in his little brother that he still couldn't see.]

I came back... for myself. And my brother.

[somakemelaugh]

[He takes a step closer, closing the distance.] That's good of you to admit it. But now what good is it going to do you to let all of it tear you apart as it still does? Oh, it will always hurt. [Absently, he reaches for his hip, where the chain that was once there would always hang. His fingers touch cloth and he pulls them away, reminded of the absence of what he values.] It never goes away that easily. But for you to lose sleep to this, for you to let it destroy you as it has been from the inside out. What good is that going to do you or your brother? There's no respecting his wishes for you if you let this kill you, and it will.

[sweetlies]

Because... Because he was part of me. Because the demon will always be there. Reminding me that he's there because of me, because of Ciel's sacrifice.

[Because of him. Or that's what Sebastian has been making him believe.]

I don't know. [He's saying that a lot. For the first time in years, he's letting tears well up as he stares at the floor.] He... would call me silly for it, wouldn't he?

[somakemelaugh]

[Another step closer. One more and he jabs a finger at the center of the boy's chest.] He was a part of you and he always will be, in your memories. [Or at least, that's what he'll say for now.] But it's your memories what send you into a fit at night. You're not making the connections. He wouldn't ever hurt you, so don't let it happen.

[The finger gives a light shove.] That's your doing now. All that's left is for you to decide to put an end to it.

[sweetlies]

[The poke at his chest comes as a shock, it makes him look up at Undertaker, eye wet with unshed tears. He isn't wrong. He'd seen Ciel, just before coming here. He'd triggered the brief thought of escape in the younger Phantomhive. And he'd been concerned about him having another coughing fit...]

How? Even if I let go, I can't escape my fate now. I just stop the nightmares.

[somakemelaugh]

[This close, he can see the gleam of those unshed tears, though it doesn't shake his resolve. The finger on the boy's chest remains where it is.] Stopping the nightmares is a good start, but I don't know how you do it. I'm only an expert in death and what comes after. I can't get all of your information for you. But you might try talking to that doctor friend of yours for starters.

[sweetlies]

[He raises an arm, brushing his sleeve over his good eye and ridding himself of the tears. No crying. He can't. He won't.]

She's a woman of science. No one like that would believe I sold my soul.

[somakemelaugh]

[He takes his hand back to let the boy deal with his tears.] Then let me convince her of that side of life if she needs it. If she can help you, then talk to her. I don't know who all you keep in your circle these days.

[Rather than putting his finger back on the boy's chest again, he lifts it to his chin.] Until then, I suppose if we're going to be living together and you're going to be waking me up in the night, well... You've come to me with your terrors before. Does it help?

[sweetlies]

You would? [Give him a moment to stare in surprise. He'd hidden his own ties to the supernatural for so long, in London and here.]

I don't keep a large circle of associates here. [Having friends is hard.

He lets Undertaker tuck his finger under his chin.]

I have been. And... yes, it does help, I feel safer.

[somakemelaugh]

If it helps, I won't mind a little chat. Science can only explain so much, even in this world. They don't even understand the things they make with it part of the time, but they live now among people who call themselves gods. If she can believe that, it won't be a far cry off for her to believe in the idea of demons lurking about. They're only two halves of another world you yourself didn't believe in until... well...

[He grins all the more, finger curling under the boy's chin, lifting a little higher.] You've all the reason in the world to at least bring it up now. All that's left for you to do is to do it. No easy task, but if you really feel safer around me, you come on back any time.

[sweetlies]

No, I didn't. I thought the cultists were mad, trying to summon a demon, spilling our blood for such a fancy. Not until they took him.

[He just lets his gaze remain on Undertaker. Really, he's not sure how to bring it up with anyone. It isn't a conversation you start casually.] So long as you're willing to put up with me, thank you.

[somakemelaugh]

I think you have your starting point, then. [The hand lowers again, and this time he steps back with it, putting a little more distance between them.] Oh, don't thank me just yet. The necessity of the thing is what's got me where I am.

[sweetlies]

What? Tell her a cult killed my brother and I sold my soul as a result? [That would be an awkward conversation.]

Necessity of it? How so?

[somakemelaugh]

If that's how you want to begin. [Honestly to him, it sounds a little blunt, but it's not his story to tell.] Long as it helps to ease your terrors, I don't care how you spin it to her.

[Though that next question has him tapping a nail on his wrist.] Really, haven't I already said why? [He counts it off, ticking on his fingers as he goes.] You've had a traumatic past. It gives you nightmares. When you have them, you wake up screaming bloody murder in the middle of the night or you come find me and wake me up anyway. All in all, it does neither of us any good for you to carry on like this and it doesn't help your reason for being.

[sweetlies]

That doesn't make it a necessity though. You could have told me to leave you be, I would have. I'm more surprised you didn't, really. That you moved into the same apartment instead.

[He's still expecting to wake up and some point and learn it was one long, extremely detailed, dream. And then it never happens.]

[somakemelaugh]

I could very well have. Fact, I could have moved to another apartment in this very building and told you nothing of it. Then you would've been up again one night only to sneak back to my old bed and find there I'm not, leaving you to suffer alone. Do you think I could do that? Could I really be such a person as to leave a child to relive something so horrible against his will again and again?

[sweetlies]

No. [He thinks about the Campania, Sebastian's comment about Undertaker meaning Ciel no harm. And then Weston, going so far as to give him the invitation to the midnight tea party, watching the dolls attack the guests there as if to ensure Ciel wasn't harmed.]

No, you've never really left me to suffer. Or get hurt.