002; elevator of forced honesty

[memefox]

elevator of forced honesty

» POST: a top level for your character(s) » RESPOND: to other characters ICly. your characters are now trapped in an elevator together. » UH OH: neither character can lie. » ADDITIONAL, OPTIONAL COMPLICATIONS: at player discretion characters may also... a. be unable to remain silent when asked questions b. be unable to speak around the truth when answering c. be compelled to reveal truths/secrets unprompted THE POWER OF THE ELEVATOR COMPELS YOU.

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[dothelokimotion]

So tell me, Thor. What is it like to nurse a broken heart?

[worldsaway]

It is.. more painful than any physical injury, it takes longer to heal than any bodily wound and it does not reform as if nothing ever happened. [He grunts, he is not comfortable sharing here.] And you won't know yourself for weeks, months, years after. It changes everything.


And why, Loki, do you ask?

[dothelokimotion]

Why not?

[ Loki shrugs. Honesty grates on him, but Loki is skilled at using the truth. ]

After all, it was such a momentous occasion. You came back a changed man. A peace-lover, of all things.

[worldsaway]

It's harder to stay the same than it is to change when all of your shortcomings follow you wherever you go. Far easier to accept it than to run from it, wouldn't you say?

[dothelokimotion]

Yes, Thor. I should just accept that I'm a monster and you pledged to destroy me since we were children. That is my shortcoming, is it not? The one you and the rest of Asgard branded upon me?

[worldsaway]

Your shortcoming is that you create self-fulfilling procphecies out of insecurity.

If I thought you to be an unsalvageable monster, I'd have killed you. I can protect you from others, but not yourself.

[dothelokimotion]

I wish you did.

[ He inhales sharply. That, he did not intend to say. The effect had gotten the better of him. ]

[worldsaway]

I know. [Thor says, and it hurts. It's like pulling shards of glass out of his skin.]

But I can't. Not yet. Maybe never.

[dothelokimotion]

[ The silence descends on them, heavy and thick. Loki finally speaks, hoarse. ]

I can't go home, Thor. I don't even know what that is, anymore.

[worldsaway]

No, you can't. [Thor agrees, reluctantly.]

It's better for you here. But I can't stay with you. [His voice falters, like he's unsure that the truth is necessarily what he wants.] I have to go back.

[dothelokimotion]

I appreciated the sweet lie.

[ Even if it hadn't been Loki on that throne, Odin would not have been swayed by Loki's deeds. Only Thor cared enough to weep into the dust. Only Thor does Loki regret hurting. Sometimes he can't because the burn of anger and pain is so deep, he can only feel better when Thor has an ounce of his sorrow.

But it never stays. ]

I wish you had let me see her off. I am no longer Odinson. The halls of your forefathers are closed to me.

I wish you had let me have that if I could have nothing else.

[worldsaway]

You know that every choice I make is not on behalf of you or myself. Father would not have allowed it, he closed himself off to dissent and.. [He hates to say it, and he wrestles with it, but the truth will be told regardless of how it feels.]

People were afraid of you, Loki. Of you, of the Dark Elves, of what was to come. Asgard was afraid. [He grits his teeth, he's already anticipating the venom in Loki's reaction.]

I cannot offer you what you want and I will not give you platitudes when you know you do not want them.

[dothelokimotion]

[ He wants to laugh. They had been afraid of him for years. The second son, conniving and weak. The magic-user who clearly coveted the throne and Thor's place. Asgard was a joke and a joke it'll remain. These were the people Loki had once pledged his loyalty to. Whom he went to war for Jotunheim for. To prove his worthiness to them.

A joke. ]

Enough. I know the difference between a wish and reality. I've stopped wanting what I can't have.

[ He's had the throne twice over. One through legitimacy, the other through his own cunning. Both are transient. Like family. Like everything else.

A joke. ]

[worldsaway]

Then I hope for you to start wanting things you can have. You have my love, you have a new life, you are unburdened and presented with opportunity. All I want is to see you happy.

[dothelokimotion]

[ Loki huffs quietly. Even that seems too high for him. ]

I don't think it's in me to feel that way. Best not to get your hopes too high, Thor.

[worldsaway]

Hope is all I have, sometimes. [He smiles, it's a little wistful.] And if you cannot hope for yourself, it's for me to hope for you.

[He reaches out, placing a hand on his neck and jaw.] What can I do for you?

[dothelokimotion]

[ Loki inhales quietly. ]

Believe in me? Just — Just sometimes. At least . . . try to.

[worldsaway]

I believe that I can. [Which is true, but he cannot say he won't worry from time to time.]

Can you believe that I love you unconditionally?

[dothelokimotion]

[ His shoulders slump in faint relief even if his eyes sting of old tears. He lets his gaze drift so that Thor does not see. Thor does not need to see everything. Loki does not need Thor to know everything. Satisfaction is not in his nature, but he has no reason to deny Thor his. But the truth has his heart by the tongs. ]

No.

[ The word chokes. ]

I cannot believe that anymore. There is nothing left to love.

[worldsaway]

[Thor aches at Loki's response, but he doesn't speak for a long moment. The tired, broken expression on his face says enough.

Thor pulls Loki's head closer to his, pressing a kiss on the top of it before he can stop him.]

You can refuse to believe it all you want, you know I'm telling the truth. And if you don't.. [Thor pulls back, leveling a serious look at Loki.]

I did eat all of the sweets you hid under your pillow. Every one. And I enjoyed them.

[dothelokimotion]

[ Loki laughs softly, the corner of his eyes crinkling. The laughter dies quickly in the faint artificial light of the elevator. Loki squeezes Thor's arm and even lets his hand rest there, comforted by the steady strength in his brother's veins. ]

You always were a glutton for punishment. Don't expect me to read stories by your bedside if you fall ill.