[Csevet keeps himself quiet while Serenity speaks, as the Emperor so clearly wishes, forging ahead and speaking his mind, explaining what it is that he's thinking in more words than Csevet thinks he's ever had the honor of hearing from Serenity. Usually, Maia is quiet, content to listen and ask questions, still absorbing the things around him as he is.
But on this topic, he seems to be an unabashed expert, his voice held carefully even as he speaks, and Csevet listens, attentive, turning his mind to deconstructing what Serenity is telling him, asking of him. Working out what the Emperor truly wants of him isn't difficult - he makes it obvious in how he speaks and the words he chooses that what he wants is for Csevet to stay with him. By far more difficult is working out what Serenity's motivations are. It isn't as if Maia is opaque or dishonest, not at all, it's simply that Csevet often finds himself wondering why Maia could possibly want the things he wants for the reasons as genuine and kind as the ones that seem to drive Serenity. It isn't that Csevet himself is unkind, but he has been surrounded all his life by unkindness on every side - and in truth, Maia's kindness is what drew Csevet to him like a moth to flame all those months ago in Edonomee - so he finds it hard, at times, to understand the reasoning that comes with kindness.
That seems to be what's at work here, and Csevet's ears slowly relax as he listens, his eyes soften, some of the tension goes out of his shoulders, and he follows Maia's hand as he gestures at the place. Tries to understand why Serenity thinks that the customs here must be bent to, and understands all too clearly at the same time.
When Maia is finished speaking, Csevet is quiet for some time, his hands in his lap, his eyes down after having held eye contact for those few seconds that had felt like eternity, before Maia spoke to him so personally, so informally, offering him his freedom. Swearing to him on his mother's tomb. It was spoken with such gravity that it would be disrespectful to rush into an answer even though Csevet knows himself to be fully decided, doubts that anything could change his mind - still he takes his time to go over everything that Maia had said and be sure to have an answer, a reason, an explanation in his mind.
Then, finally, he lifts his head and meets Maia's eyes again.]
Serenity, we fear you may have misunderstood our meaning when we asked why we would ever want respite from you. You see, it is not that we feel ourselves your servant, though truly we are, nor that we feel we owe you anything, though truly we do.
[A pause, and a soft exhalation, and Csevet leans in, eyes on Maia's face, cheeks a bit flushed, ears up and alert.]
It is that something one wishes a respite from must be, by definition, unpleasant, and we have never found your company to be so. Though we were brought into your service by release of Chavar, and also by your request, we admit to hoping to be asked.
[A pause, and Csevet hesitates, choosing his words carefully, uncertain how to word what he's thinking without being too forward or giving offense. After a moment, he exhales softly, and forges ahead.]
When we first met you, your first inclination was to treat us with kindness, and we admit, from that moment, we wished to stay by your side.
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But on this topic, he seems to be an unabashed expert, his voice held carefully even as he speaks, and Csevet listens, attentive, turning his mind to deconstructing what Serenity is telling him, asking of him. Working out what the Emperor truly wants of him isn't difficult - he makes it obvious in how he speaks and the words he chooses that what he wants is for Csevet to stay with him. By far more difficult is working out what Serenity's motivations are. It isn't as if Maia is opaque or dishonest, not at all, it's simply that Csevet often finds himself wondering why Maia could possibly want the things he wants for the reasons as genuine and kind as the ones that seem to drive Serenity. It isn't that Csevet himself is unkind, but he has been surrounded all his life by unkindness on every side - and in truth, Maia's kindness is what drew Csevet to him like a moth to flame all those months ago in Edonomee - so he finds it hard, at times, to understand the reasoning that comes with kindness.
That seems to be what's at work here, and Csevet's ears slowly relax as he listens, his eyes soften, some of the tension goes out of his shoulders, and he follows Maia's hand as he gestures at the place. Tries to understand why Serenity thinks that the customs here must be bent to, and understands all too clearly at the same time.
When Maia is finished speaking, Csevet is quiet for some time, his hands in his lap, his eyes down after having held eye contact for those few seconds that had felt like eternity, before Maia spoke to him so personally, so informally, offering him his freedom. Swearing to him on his mother's tomb. It was spoken with such gravity that it would be disrespectful to rush into an answer even though Csevet knows himself to be fully decided, doubts that anything could change his mind - still he takes his time to go over everything that Maia had said and be sure to have an answer, a reason, an explanation in his mind.
Then, finally, he lifts his head and meets Maia's eyes again.]
Serenity, we fear you may have misunderstood our meaning when we asked why we would ever want respite from you. You see, it is not that we feel ourselves your servant, though truly we are, nor that we feel we owe you anything, though truly we do.
[A pause, and a soft exhalation, and Csevet leans in, eyes on Maia's face, cheeks a bit flushed, ears up and alert.]
It is that something one wishes a respite from must be, by definition, unpleasant, and we have never found your company to be so. Though we were brought into your service by release of Chavar, and also by your request, we admit to hoping to be asked.
[A pause, and Csevet hesitates, choosing his words carefully, uncertain how to word what he's thinking without being too forward or giving offense. After a moment, he exhales softly, and forges ahead.]
When we first met you, your first inclination was to treat us with kindness, and we admit, from that moment, we wished to stay by your side.