[It is entirely another kind of relief when Serenity looks at him with those pale eyes and gives a tiny nod of agreement - a relief that despite both of them remembering different days at court, at how long Serenity has been here alone, adapting to this place, that they still know each other. That they can still communicate wordlessly, enough so that Csevet feels comfortable briskly stepping in and ordering for both of them from the menu; he chooses foods that he knows Serenity will enjoy, knowing them well from having watched Maia eat for well on a year. He also orders something he knows he will enjoy, for himself, something different than what he ordered for Maia, and that is its own kind of boldness, for usually he would simply have what Serenity is having.
For a moment, after he does so, he keeps his eyes down, folding the menu and then looking up at the waiter, avoiding eye contact with Serenity until he's certain that his decision to have what he wants will draw no ire. (And it's stupid, to think it will, after having seen Maia prove again and again how kind he is, how humble and even-tempered, but there are certain patterns of thought that are woven into the fabric of who he is that aren't so easily ignored.)
Finally, he lifts his eyes back up to Maia and finds the Emperor looking at him with that expression, fond and soft, and Csevet's ears and cheeks go pink, he has to look down again, heart beating too hard as Serenity says that he missed him.]
Were we aware that you were absent, Serenity, we would have missed you terribly.
[Dragging his eyes back up to Maia, his expression goes a little softer, his smile fades a little as Serenity says that he must speak plainly. As he continues speaking, explaining that...explaining what he explains. For a moment, Csevet's heart starts beating harder, his ears pull back against his head in alarm, the pink washing out of his cheeks and leaving him pale, eyes slightly round.
For a moment, he imagines himself cast aside by Maia, released from service, no longer wanted, and his throat feels tight, he drops his hands to his lap to hide any sign of fidgeting, then lifts them to the table again, trembling slightly but still as he can keep them. Hiding his fidgeting might as well be the same as fidgeting in the first place, after all.]
Serenity...
[His voice is quiet, a little thick, and his eyes stay on Maia's face.]
no subject
For a moment, after he does so, he keeps his eyes down, folding the menu and then looking up at the waiter, avoiding eye contact with Serenity until he's certain that his decision to have what he wants will draw no ire. (And it's stupid, to think it will, after having seen Maia prove again and again how kind he is, how humble and even-tempered, but there are certain patterns of thought that are woven into the fabric of who he is that aren't so easily ignored.)
Finally, he lifts his eyes back up to Maia and finds the Emperor looking at him with that expression, fond and soft, and Csevet's ears and cheeks go pink, he has to look down again, heart beating too hard as Serenity says that he missed him.]
Were we aware that you were absent, Serenity, we would have missed you terribly.
[Dragging his eyes back up to Maia, his expression goes a little softer, his smile fades a little as Serenity says that he must speak plainly. As he continues speaking, explaining that...explaining what he explains. For a moment, Csevet's heart starts beating harder, his ears pull back against his head in alarm, the pink washing out of his cheeks and leaving him pale, eyes slightly round.
For a moment, he imagines himself cast aside by Maia, released from service, no longer wanted, and his throat feels tight, he drops his hands to his lap to hide any sign of fidgeting, then lifts them to the table again, trembling slightly but still as he can keep them. Hiding his fidgeting might as well be the same as fidgeting in the first place, after all.]
Serenity...
[His voice is quiet, a little thick, and his eyes stay on Maia's face.]
Why would we wish respite from you?