( what if i don't want you to come back with me and tears start streaming down his face again. he knows he's being selfish, here. that wanting to keep teddy and loki is selfish. that wanting teddy to know how much he does love him after they were just bitching at each other over--everything is selfish. but billy is selfish. he wants teddy, even if he thinks he's not good enough for him.

teddy's still holding onto him regardless. even though he's crying and looks like a giant disaster, even if teddy doesn't want him to come back.

and billy's slumping his shoulders, trying to keep himself from trembling too much. it doesn't help, much. he's tense and wound up, two steps away from laying down on the floor and trying to cease to exist again but. doesn't. not yet. he can't let himself fall to pieces. not in front of teddy, not now. )

I'm sorry, Teddy. I'm--s-sorry, I'm sorry.

( sorry but he's not making any promises. he's not leaving loki, regardless of how much this hurts. that'd--hurt even worse, he's sure. losing loki on top of teddy, on top of everything else. maybe he should. maybe hurting himself is the right way to go here.

maybe it's the only way to make this right. )

I don't. . expect you to forgive me. I don't. If you--don't want me to come back, 'll stay. ( it was his original plan anyway. ) I. . I'm sorry.