[ Athelstan opened his mouth to protest but then, again, he doesn't know exactly what he had looked like back then -- this is different. He lower his gaze when Ragnar moved back onto the bed, for the briefest of moments. He felt guilty. Whether the guilt was for wanting Ragnar so much or for being so clearly nervous the other could tell he isn't sure. It's just a heavy feeling on his chest.
But, Ragnar's gentle, with his hands in his hair, the light press of their foreheads. It relaxes Athelstan just a little. Ragnar clearly isn't rushing him but Athelstan feels that fear of disappointing him. It's not the first time he's felt it. There'd been so many times where he had looked for Ragnar's approval, perhaps not so many times in this sort of intimate position.
He could relax into his kiss, not as demanding at the previous one had been, though he still heard the echoing mine and yours.
He remained quiet when Ragnar withdrew from the kiss, his eyes following his every moment when he laid down. He wanted to tell him now, that he'd read his expression wrong but they'd both know he was lying. That maybe it's not exactly the same but there was enough cause for this to be justified. ]
With you... it's not the same as with her. [ He doesn't mean it in the most obvious of ways, even though, that too is true. He shifts back onto the bed, and he doesn't settle to far. His hand reaches to touch his cheek, feeling the other's beard against the skin of his scar that's more sensitive, that's a reminder of so many things. He moves close enough that their chests nearly touch. ]
But I want you more than I've wanted anyone. I don't know why I'm... [ Afraid? Nervous? He meets Ragnar's eyes again and is almost pleading for him to simply understand the words that are missing. ]
no subject
But, Ragnar's gentle, with his hands in his hair, the light press of their foreheads. It relaxes Athelstan just a little. Ragnar clearly isn't rushing him but Athelstan feels that fear of disappointing him. It's not the first time he's felt it. There'd been so many times where he had looked for Ragnar's approval, perhaps not so many times in this sort of intimate position.
He could relax into his kiss, not as demanding at the previous one had been, though he still heard the echoing mine and yours.
He remained quiet when Ragnar withdrew from the kiss, his eyes following his every moment when he laid down. He wanted to tell him now, that he'd read his expression wrong but they'd both know he was lying. That maybe it's not exactly the same but there was enough cause for this to be justified. ]
With you... it's not the same as with her. [ He doesn't mean it in the most obvious of ways, even though, that too is true. He shifts back onto the bed, and he doesn't settle to far. His hand reaches to touch his cheek, feeling the other's beard against the skin of his scar that's more sensitive, that's a reminder of so many things. He moves close enough that their chests nearly touch. ]
But I want you more than I've wanted anyone. I don't know why I'm... [ Afraid? Nervous? He meets Ragnar's eyes again and is almost pleading for him to simply understand the words that are missing. ]